Humorous Poems for 3rd Grade Funny Poems for Kids About Teachers

Poems can make us think as well as make us laugh. And through funny poems, learning for kids becomes fun. So let the children laugh more as they know more with these 40 funny poems for kids.

Funny Poems for Kids

1. When The World Turned Upside Down

The day when the world
turned upside down:
when a frown became a smile
and a smile became a frown.

When the mice chased the cats
the cats chased the dogs.
The dogs laughed out loud
at the pink and yellow frogs.

When you went to bed in the daytime
and got up at night.
When birds caught the school bus
and the cows took flight.

When the moon came out
in the middle of the day
and all of the ocean's fish
rolled around in the hay.

When the children ruled the world
and ice cream was for free
and the elephants shrank
to the size of a flea.

When the grass rained lollipops
up to the sky.
When you wanted to laugh
but could only cry.

When magic beans were real
and giants very small,
you would eat spiders legs
so you could creep up the wall.

This all happened when the
world turned upside down
after I went to bed
with a smile – not a frown.

– Margaret A. Savage

2. My Big Fat Cat

I own a big fat cat-
The fattest for miles around.
Wherever there's lots of food,
That's where he'll be found.

He's really good at eating.
It's a talent, I suppose.
I'm sure if he keeps at it
He'd win the talent shows.

I own a big fat cat-
He weighs at least a ton.
He couldn't run to save his life.
Yes, he isn't much fun.

His favourite room's the kitchen.
(I'm sure we all know why.)
He eats just about everything,
So that's why, with a sigh…

I'd like to tell you, Teacher,
I'd like to tell you straight,
I might have "accidentally" dropped
My homework in his plate.

– Christian M. Mitewu

3. The Little Turtle

There was a little turtle.
He lived in a box.
He swam in a puddle.
He climbed on the rocks.

He snapped at a mosquito.
He snapped at a flea.
He snapped at a minnow.
And he snapped at me.

He caught the mosquito.
He caught the flea.
He caught the minnow.
But he didn't catch me.

– Vachel Lindsay

4. Trouble

Better never trouble Trouble
Until Trouble troubles you;
For you only make your trouble
Double-trouble when you do;
And the trouble-like a bubble-
That you're troubling about,
May be nothing but a cipher
With its rim rubbed out.

– David Keppel

5. Fun

I love to hear a lobster laugh,
Or see a turtle wiggle,
Or poke a hippopotamus
And see the monster giggle,
Or even stand around at night
And watch the mountains wriggle.

– Leroy F. Jackson

6. Dentist and the Crocodile

The crocodile, with cunning smile, sat in the dentist's chair.
He said, "Right here and everywhere my teeth require repair."
The dentist's face was turning white. He quivered, quaked and shook.
He muttered, "I suppose I'm going to have to take a look."
"I want you", Crocodile declared, "to do the back ones first.
The molars at the very back are easily the worst."
He opened wide his massive jaws. It was a fearsome sight—
At least three hundred pointed teeth, all sharp and shining white.
The dentist kept himself well clear. He stood two yards away.
He chose the longest probe he had to search out the decay.
"I said to do the back ones first!" the Crocodile called out.
"You're much too far away, dear sir, to see what you're about.
To do the back ones properly you've got to put your head
Deep down inside my great big mouth," the grinning Crocky said.
The poor old dentist wrung his hands and, weeping in despair,
He cried, "No no! I see them all extremely well from here!"
Just then, in burst a lady, in her hands a golden chain.
She cried, "Oh Croc, you naughty boy, you're playing tricks again!"
"Watch out!" the dentist shrieked and started climbing up the wall.
"He's after me! He's after you! He's going to eat us all!"
"Don't be a twit," the lady said, and flashed a gorgeous smile.
"He's harmless. He's my little pet, my lovely crocodile."

– Roald Dahl

7. Daddy Fell into the Pond

Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
And then there seemed to be nothing beyond,
Then
Daddy fell into the pond!

And everyone's face grew merry and bright,
And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
"Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
He's crawling out of the duckweed!" Click!

Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
And doubled up, shaking silently,
And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft,
And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
Oh, there wasn't a thing that didn't respond
When
Daddy Fell into the pond!

– Alfred Noyes

8. When the Teacher Isn't Looking

When the teacher's back is turned,
we never scream and shout.
Never do we drop our books
and try to freak her out.

No one throws a pencil
at the ceiling of the class.
No one tries to hit the fire alarm
and break the glass.

We don't cough in unison
and loudly clear our throats.
No one's shooting paper wads
or passing little notes.

She must think we're so polite.
We never make a peep.
Really, though, it's just because
we all go right to sleep.

– Kenn Nesbitt

9. Halfway Down

Halfway down the stairs
Is a stair
Where I sit.
There isn't any
Other stair
Quite like
It.
I'm not at the bottom,
I'm not at the top;
So this is the stair
Where
I always
Stop.

Halfway up the stairs
Isn't up
And it isn't down.
It isn't in the nursery,
It isn't in town.
And all sorts of funny thoughts
Run round my head.
It isn't really
Anywhere!
It's somewhere else
Instead!

– A. A. Milne

10. Little Boy Blue

Please cover your nose.
You sneezed on Miss Muffet
and ruined her clothes.
You sprayed Mother Hubbard
and now she is sick.
You put out the fire
on Jack's candle stick.
Your sneeze is the reason
why Humpty fell down.
You drenched Yankee Doodle
when he came to town.
The blind mice are angry!
The sheep are upset!
From now on, use a tissue
so no one gets wet!

– Emmanuel Perez

11. Sweet Treat Dream

If my world were made of chocolate,
I know what I would do.
I'd make a chocolate mountain
And share it all with you.

We'd eat our way up to the top
Until we'd eaten every drop.
Then chocolate clouds and chocolate rain
Would float us back to Earth again.

Chocolate fields and chocolate trees,
Chocolate rivers and chocolate seas,
Chocolate people and chocolate cars,
And houses made of chocolate bars.

Chocolate coats and chocolate hats,
Chocolate dogs and chocolate cats,
Chocolate castles. Oh, what a dream.
I would be known as the Chocolate Queen.

But there's one thing that would never do,
And I know for sure that this is true.
An end would be put to all our fun
If our world had a chocolate sun!

– Gillian M. Ward

12. Aerodynamic Mishap

I made a paper aeroplane,
It really was the best.
I took my time to make it right,
To that I can attest!

I'd planned it all so thoroughly,
I'd sketched from either side.
I knew that all would be amazed,
To see it swoop and dive.

But its first flight was not to plan,
Though it soared up high.
The teacher turned, it crashed and burned,
And hit her in the eye!

My plane, screwed up, went in the bin,
All agreed it was a shame.
But my teacher's got a big black eye,
And I'm the one to blame!

– Gareth Lancaster

13. My Doggy Ate My Essay

My doggy ate my essay.
He picked up all my mail.
He cleaned my dirty closet
and dusted with his tail.

He straightened out my posters
and swept my wooden floor.
My parents almost fainted
when he fixed my bedroom door.

I did not try to stop him.
He made my windows shine.
My room looked like a palace,
and my dresser smelled like pine.

He fluffed up every pillow.
He folded all my clothes.
He even cleaned my fish tank
with a toothbrush and a hose.

I thought it was amazing
to see him use a broom.
I'm glad he ate my essay
on "How to Clean My Room."

– Darren Sardelli

14. How Not to Have to Dry the Dishes

If you have to dry the dishes
(Such an awful, boring chore)
If you have to dry the dishes
('Stead of going to the store)
If you have to dry the dishes
And you drop one on the floor—
Maybe they won't let you
Dry the dishes anymore.

– Shel Silverstein

15. Be Glad Your Nose Is on Your Face

Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you'd be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place–
be glad your nose is on your face!

– Jack Prelutsky

16. On the Ning Nang Nong

On the Ning Nang Nong
Where the Cows go Bong!
and the monkeys all say BOO!
There's a Nong Nang Ning
Where the trees go Ping!
And the tea pots jibber jabber joo.
On the Nong Ning Nang
All the mice go Clang
And you just can't catch 'em when they do!
So its Ning Nang Nong
Cows go Bong!
Nong Nang Ning
Trees go ping
Nong Ning Nang
The mice go Clang
What a noisy place to belong
is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!!

– Spike Milligan

17. The Elf and the Doremouse

Under a toadstool crept a wee Elf,
Out of the rain to shelter himself.

Under the toadstool, sound asleep,
Sat a big Dormouse all in a heap.

Trembled the wee Elf, frightened and yet
Fearing to fly away lest he get wet.

To the next shelter—maybe a mile!
Sudden the wee Elf smiled a wee smile.

Tugged till the toadstool toppled in two.
Holding it over him, gaily he flew.

Soon he was safe home, dry as could be.
Soon woke the Dormouse—'Good gracious me!

'Where is my toadstool?' loud he lamented.
—And that's how umbrellas first were invented.

– Oliver Herford

18. Turn Off the TV!

My father gets quite mad at me;
my mother gets upset—
when they catch me watching
our new television set.

My father yells, "Turn that thing off!"
Mom says, "It's time to study."
I'd rather watch my favorite TV show
with my best buddy.

I sneak down after homework
and turn the set on low.
But when she sees me watching it,
my mother yells out, "No!"

Dad says, "If you don't turn it off,
I'll hang it from a tree!"
I rather doubt he'll do it,
'cause he watches more than me.

He watches sports all weekend,
and weekday evenings too,
while munching chips and pretzels—
the room looks like a zoo.

So if he ever got the nerve
to hang it from a tree,
he'd spend a lot of time up there—
watching it with me.

– Bruce Lansky

19. Don't Be Silly

Are there bugs that live on the moon?
Can July come before June?
Can the sun ever feel cold?
"Don't be silly" I'm often told.

Why can't we live under the sea?
The creatures there seem so happy.
Why does cheese look like gold?
"Don't be silly" I'm often told.

So why are things the way they are?
Has it always been, right from the start?
Will Mickey Mouse ever get old?
"Don't be silly" I'm often told.

So in good time I know I'll grow,
And I will learn, this I know.
I'll ask my questions and be bold,
"And that's not silly" I'll be told.

– Dave Moran

20. A Knotty Problem

A scarf for a giraffe
Would be forty feet long
But how would a giraffe
Know how to put one on?

– Patrick Winstanley

21. Arithmetic

Two wrongs don't make a right.
So says my teacher, Mr. Brill.
Two wrongs don't make a right, say I.
But maybe four wrongs will.

– Judith Viorst

22. My Butler

My mom got me a butler
To help out with the chores.
I have him fold my laundry
Then place them in my drawers.

He puts away my toys.
He brings me all my snacks.
But I'm sure his training
Was a little lax.

When he makes my bed,
The pillow's near my feet.
If he sweeps the floor
The right side's incomplete.

He never clears the dishes
Without dropping some.
I even caught him dusting
While trying to suck his thumb.

I told my mom, "He's lazy!
I want to have another."
But we have to keep him
Because he is my brother.

– Steve Hanson

23. Blueing

I walked outside, and saw a blue dragon,
He was sitting, in a blue wagon.
I asked the dragon, what are you doing?
He replied and said, "I'm just blueing!"

I walked to the pond and saw a blue frog,
He was wearing blue running shoes, on his morning jog.
I asked the frog, what are you doing?
He replied and said, "I'm just blueing!"

I walked to up a hill, and saw a blue bunny,
She was drinking tea and counting her blue money.
I asked the frog, what are you doing?
She replied and said, "I'm just blueing!"

I stopped walking, I was very confused,
They were all laughing, I wasn't amused.
I asked the dragon, frog, and bunny, "What is Blueing?"
They replied, "That's the name of the gum that we're chewing!"

– tree.cards

24. Looth Tooth

I've got a looth tooth
that wigglth and jigglth and wrigglth.
I move it around
but it never comth out of my mouth.
I pull it, I yank it,
I twirl it, I thpank it,
but it jutht never theems
to want to come out
of ith houth.

I'd call the Tooth Fairy,
but she'th kinda thcary,
Tho I thtill cannot theem to be free
of thith wiggly looth tooth,
that to tell you the truth,
ith makin' a thap outa me.

I'm going to give it
one thuper thtrong yank,
cuth I really could uthe thome money.
Great Scott! It's out! At last, it's out!
But now I'm talking funny.

– Arden Davidson

25. Dust

The grey dust runs on the ground like a mouse,
Over the doorstep and into the house,
Under the bedsteads and tables and chairs,
Up to the rooms at the top of the stairs,
Down to the cellar, across the brick floor-
There! It is off again by the back door!
Never a mousetrap can catch the grey mouse
Who keeps the brooms busy all over the house!

– P. A. Ropess

26. The Porcupine

Any hound a porcupine nudges
Can't be blamed for harboring grudges,
I know one hound that laughed all winter
At a porcupine that sat on a splinter.

– Ogden Nash

27. The Teachings of a Snail

The snail that sat upon your shoulder it whispered to you number order.
If two is three and three is two then one is five and you look blue.
"Do you not enjoy this game?" The snail looked to you as it asked in vain.
The game of numbers is one we play by seeing things most every day.
Down is up and left is right then four is eight and nine is five.
But one was five I thought you said?
"Shut your mouth or you'll end up dead!" The snail continued his nonsense game of
numbers, words and silly things.
The root of ten is thirty four but wait, then what's the root or thirty four?
The crooning of his awful voice's enough to make your skull so ache.
"Wait, stop! Do set me down!" The snail cried out as you swung him round.
And off he flew into the water where a fish poked out and thanked you for supper.

– Willameena

28. The Hen

The hen is a ferocious fowl,
She pecks you till she makes you howl.

And all the time she flaps her wings,
And says the most insulting things.

And when you try to take her egss,
She bites large pieces from your legs.

The only safe way to get these,
Is to creep on your hands and knees.

In the meanwhile a friend must hide,
And jump out on the other side.

And then you snatch the eggs and run,
While she pursues the other one.

The difficulty is, to find
A trusty friend who will not mind.

– Lord Alfred Douglas

29. The Theoretic Turtle

The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
"Now how, in the name of the spouting whale," the indignant turtle cried,
"Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, I'd lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, he'd gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I can't do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath."
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
"The easiest way, my friend," said he, "is to walk around the pole."

– Amos R. Wells

30. The Attraction of Levitation

"Oh, dear!" said little Johnny Frost,
"Sleds are such different things!
When down the hill you swiftly coast
You'd think that they had wings;

"But when uphill you slowly climb,
And have to drag your sled,
It feels so heavy that you'd think
'Twas really made of lead.

"And all because an Englishman,
Sir Isaac Newton named,
Invented gravitation, and
Became unduly famed;

"While if he had reversed his law,
So folks uphill could coast,
It seems to me he would have had
A better claim to boast.

"Then coasting would all pleasure be;
To slide up would be slick!
And dragging sleds downhill would be
An awful easy trick!"

– H. G. Paine

31. The Scissor-Man

SING a song of Scissor-men,
Mend a broken plate,
Bring your knives and garden shears,
Will do them while you wait.
Buzz-a-wuzz! Buzz-a-wuzz!
Fast the wheel or slow.
Ticker Tacker! Ticker Tack!
Rivets in a row.

Sing a song of Scissor-men,
Sitting in the sun.
Sing it when the day begins.
Sing it when it's done.
Be it hard or be it soft.
Here's a jolly plan;
Sing to make the work go well,
Like the Scissor-man.

– Madeleine Nightingale

32. Who's In?

"The door is shut fast
And everyone's out."
But people don't know
what they're talking about!
Say the fly on the wall,
And the flame on the coals,
And the dog on his rug,
And the mice in their holes,
And the kitten curled up,
And the spiders that spin-
"What, everyone out?
Why, everyone's in!"

– Elizabeth Fleming

33. The Lost Dinosaur

There once was a great big dinosaur,
His neck was long and green.
He lived in a hot green jungle,
So the dinosaur could't be seen.

One day he started walking,
He walked far from his home.
He didn't know just where he was,
He was lost and all alone.

He could't be seen because he was green,
Just like the green jungle trees.
His friends looked around but he couldn't be found,
Oh! Where could the dinosaur be?

The dinosaur was angry,
He stretched his neck and he roared.
Then he looked down and started to smile,
At something he saw on the floor.

He saw his own tracks and started to laugh,
He knew now how to get home.
He followed his tracks all the way back,
And said . "Next time I'll take my cell phone.

– Dave Moran

34. Have You Ever Seen

Have you ever seen a sheet on a river bed?
Or a single hair from a hammer's head?
Has the foot of a mountain any toes?
And is there a pair of garden hose?

Does the needle ever wink its eye?
Why doesn't the wing of a building fly?
Can you tickle the ribs of a parasol?
Or open the trunk of a tree at all?

Are the teeth of a rake ever going to bite?
Have the hands of a clock any left or right?
Can the garden plot be deep and dark?
And what is the sound of the birch's bark?

– Anonymous

35. Bed in Summer

In Winter I get up at night
And dress by yellow candle light.
In Summer, quite the other way,
I have to go to bed by day.

I have to go to bed and see
The birds still hopping on the tree,
Or hear the grown-up people's feet
Still going past me in the street.

And does it not seem hard to you,
When all the sky is clear and blue,
And I should like so much to play,
To have to go to bed by day?

– Robert Louis Stevenson

36. Eletelephony

Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I've got it right.)
Howe'er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I'd better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

– Laura Elizabeth Richards

37. Glow Worm

Oh, I wish I were a glow worm,
for a glow worm's never glum,
'cause how can you be grumpy
when the sun shines out your bum!

– Taylor Russell

38. Three Little Piggies

I have three piggies,
Who live in the shed
They sleep in their food bowl
And eat in their bed

They drink lots of water
Which makes them go wee
This usually happens
While they are sitting on my knee!!!

– Paige

39. Bee and Bee

The bumblebee buzzes
From flower to flower

As does the humblebee,
But with head bowed lower.

– Patrick Winstanley

40. Goodbye, Six — Hello, Seven

I'm getting a higher bunk bed.
And I'm getting a bigger bike.
And I'm getting to cross Connecticut Avenue all by
myself, if I like.
And I'm getting to help do dishes.
And I'm getting to weed the yard.
And I'm getting to think that seven
could be hard.

– Judith Viorst

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Source: https://selffa.com/funny-poems-for-kids/

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